tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151473286970381364.post1899028418700209950..comments2013-04-11T20:52:46.925-07:00Comments on Notorious: Issue 1.5 - Meet JackThe Great Hippohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09289623983609678924noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151473286970381364.post-77824228718812703112011-08-22T18:29:55.970-07:002011-08-22T18:29:55.970-07:00I think it's very well written, as usual -- a ...I think it's very well written, as usual -- a couple things to fix (hope that's helpful):<br /><br />The laser burns AND spears through Jackal -- maybe one or the other? <br /><br />And there's sunlight at one point but the rest of the time she's dimming lights, as in the parking lot lights, so I'm confused as to the time of day -- and night makes more sense for a concert. So maybe that needs clarification?<br /><br />The action and dialogue is fast and fun as always, too.G.S. Williamshttp://gavinwilliams.digitalnovelists.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151473286970381364.post-80119962273024004092011-07-14T22:25:29.702-07:002011-07-14T22:25:29.702-07:00Of course, this begs the question: is Jack good, o...Of course, this begs the question: is Jack good, or lucky? I loved the way he dealt with Jackal, but was worried, especially at the last few paragraphs, that he'd be outclassed.<br /><br />Preparation is part of Jack's shtick. I can't bear to imagine what would happen should he ever be caught with his pants down.Eli Jameshttp://novelr.comnoreply@blogger.com